Endings and Beginnings....

Hi Everyone

Today was a sad and glad day. This morning while going out about my watering duties, I saw a whole bunch of fuschia colored morning glories blooming on Dave’s handrail.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is one of those fancy fuschia colored Morning Glories. Don't they make you smile?

They were stunning and beautiful; just wonderful bright spots of color.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is a gaily decorated handrail with just a handful of morning glory seeds. Think what you could do! And how pretty your place will look if you planted them early next year in the Spring.


I was driving back from Cottonwood after doing my normal Friday running around, and was on our dirt road. We have a ton of ground squirrels in our area. And since Jon had made what we all call the “Great China Wall” of taking the many rocks from his vineyard to make these wonderful stone fences, the squirrels have seen them as ‘the apartments.’ Snakes make their homes in them, and so do mice, pack rats and lots of insects.


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Here are non-monsoon clouds in the sky today. Our monsoon has flowed out of the area. But any clouds are good clouds to me!


Jon was commented--lamenting--that in the last five years or so, the ground squirrel population has exploded around our canyon. He was wondering where the gray desert fox and coyotes were to keep the population in check. I laughed with him about this, but I felt the combo of the rock ‘apartments’ plus the nice, fat, juicy grapes, were too good a draw for the squirrels and so they’ve multiplied much more than normal.

Anyway, today, on the flat of the road, I saw two ground squirrels about thirty feet ahead of me. They exploded out of the brush at the side of the road. I hadn’t seen them until they leaped out. I took my foot off the accelerator and started to brake. One squirrel dove back toward the berm and the other, unfortunately, dashed right in front of my car. I hit the brakes hard, not expecting the critter to do that. I saw him dodge the first tire. I had an awful feeling and slowed down to a crawl. Looking in my rear view mirror, my stomach sank--there, on the edge of the road was a little gray lump.

I felt horrible. I knew I’d hit the squirrel. I backed the van up, got out and went over to see if it was still alive. I was hoping it was just knocked out. But no such luck. The big, beautiful gray squirrel was dead. I told it was I sorry and I prayed for its spirit and I ask for forgiveness because I hate killing anything. I gently picked him up and I laid him in the grass next to the apartments. I knew that it was his time to go. We all die--it is only what we choose to die from and to decide when to leave our physical body. As I stroked its soft, gray fur, I knew that perhaps tonight, the gray desert fox, a Great Horned Owl, a coyote, or a skunk, might find the body and have a good meal that would last them days. Nothing is ever wasted in Nature. Dust to dust.

So, the rest of my day was colored with the fact I’d accidentally taken a life. Of course, there are no accidents. I had not purposely zeroed in on the little guy to kill him; just the opposite. But he had chosen his way to transit out of this world and back into spirit in this way. Even though I understand this, I don’t like it. I don’t like taking a life; it just goes against everything within me. I can’t even kill a bug or a spider, much less a snake.

On our hike tonight, as I was going up the first part of Cardiac Hill with Rocky when I heard a “flutter, flutter, flutter” sound. I looked over the stone wall and saw a bird was caught in then netting over the long lines of grapes. I made a mental note to cut short my time taking photos and to get back to the aisle of grapes to try and catch the bird and set it free. Jon does a lot to try and protect birds who want his grapes. He has special netting and is very careful and thorough in tying it off so that birds can’t get in. But if they manage to squeeze in somewhere--then they are as good as dead because they can never get out and they die of dehydration.

I thought; well, maybe I can make up for killing that poor ground squirrel today by rescuing this bird and setting it free. Of course, it’s easier said than done. Jon had given us permission years ago to walk the rows of his grapes when he had to net them off before being picked, to find birds and free them. Dave and I do that and we’re very careful how we do it--we don’t want to rip Jon’s nets, nor do we want to tear up his watering system which is just below where the nets are tied. It’s usually a two-person operation and so as I continued to walk, I wasn’t sure I could rescue the bird at all--it’s ten times harder trying to catch a wild bird in that netting without help. Still....it was something I wanted to do for a lot of reason--one was to salve my guilty conscience for killing the squirrel--take a live, give back a life--kind of thinking...disorted, I know...but I’m terribly human about stuff like this

I met Mark on his ATV just at the top of Cardiac Hill. I asked him if he wanted to let Carly, the little dog, to go with me--because she loves to walk with women vs. riding in the ATV. He said sure and I scooped her out and off we went. Mark zoomed ahead with Prancer, his black and white dog, at the helm and standing up like a hood ornament.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Carly and Rocky are enjoying a group sniff on the trail tonight.


Rocky loves Carly and he truly enjoyed having the extra company through The Cut and up to Sunset Point. They’d stop, sniff, do their doggy things and then trot on. Carly’s legs are so tiny and Rocky is so long and leggy....it was funny to watch “mutt and jeff” together. It brought me a lot of joy just watching them enjoy their time together.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Carly and Rocky trotting down the road together--Mutt and Jeff....



The sunset tonight was without monsoon clouds.


Copyright Eileen Nauman
At first the sunset was golden with a few beautiful clouds to add decoration to the sky In fact, our monsoon has left, much like the tide of the Ocean going out, but its supposed to return on Monday. In the meantime, the skies are pretty clear and certainly not as exciting. But, I love all clouds so any cloud is a GOOD cloud!

The sunset was interesting.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is the sunset while it is still got the golden tones



We had just enough clouds to give it ‘character’ and it was golden. I had a quick chat with Mark, gave the doggies their little Milkbone treats and off I went to try and find that bird before it got too dark to find him at all. I was half way through The Cut and looked back, and gosh, the dramatic change of color on the sunset was beautiful--it had turned from gold to a deep red color!

In the vineyard, I found the right row of grapes. I heard the fluttering. I had Rocky on a leash and I put my camera down. The bird (a female Black Headed Grosbeak) was fluttering and flying all the way down to the end of the row. I caught it twice, but it evaded me because I didn’t want to wreck the netting getting to the bird. I knew that eventually, the bird would reach the end--which is the best place to catch them. They get hung up and suspended by netting all around them. Plus, it was getting dark. And I was counting on that to help me get to the little girl.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's the little guy I rescued. And Kiasi helped me identify the bird as a Black-headed Grosbeak--it is a female.



When the bird came to the end I managed to grab it in my fist when it was down near the bottom where the netting is rolled and it’s twisted shut. I was able to ease my hand between the two nets at the bottom and capture the Black-headed Grosbeak. Then, I pulled the opening apart just enough to get her out. The netting was spared and back in place and I had the goofy bird.

I tried taking a couple of photographs of him--they didn’t come out swell--but she was squeaking and fighting and I just didn’t have the heart to keep her captive any longer. It was a sweet feeling to open my hand and allow him to spring out of my palm and into the air. Off she went!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Helping to save a life is infinitely more pleasant than taking one. But, like life, the scales of Spirit balance as they should be.


I sure felt good then. Relieved. I might have killed an animal and taken it’s life, but Spirit had allowed me a reprieve to show that I could also help save a life and give it back to another animal. Isn’t that just like our lives? Sometimes we get caught up in the netting of our mind, our distortions on life and Spirit reaches in through the netting, captures us, and sets us free?


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is that red sunset for 8.18.06



In Spirit.....

Peaceful Evenings...

Hi Everyone

Today was another clean up day. We have a spa--a birthday gift from Dave many years ago and about every three months it needs to be cleaned. I get on my t-shirt and jeans that I don’t care if it gets splashed with bleach and water as I scrub down the insides of the spa after all the water is drained.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Rocky is taking a break on Cardiac Hill

It’s a two-person job. Teamwork is definitely something that’s needed and welcomed. Dave takes out the filter, cleans it and I scrub the inside of our big tub. When Dave was on his hands and knees earlier, to attach the hose to drain the water, he ran across a scorpion near the opening. Dave reared back, instantly. Dave is a Scorpio and he draws scorpions like I draw snakes.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
As Rocky looked down Cardiac Hill, this is what he saw--our beautiful desert come alive with green grass everywhere! The Monsoons have been more than kind to us--I have rarely seen such green in August.

The scorpion dived under the bottom of the platform and so we need to be careful if we go out there at night--use a flashlight to see where one is putting one’s bare feet is our new motto...


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is our Nolina or Bear Grass coming into bloom with tiny white flowers which grows near Cardiac Hill.


I didn’t get to work on the hogan; there was lots of other things going on that demanded my attention instead. One thing I’ve found is ‘go with the flow’ and one learns how to prioritize by what the Cosmos wants me to focus on for the day.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here are Desert Four O Clocks backlit by the setting sun on the road.


I did get in editing half a chapter on DARK TRUTH, my second book for Silhouette Nocturne. The more I work on this book, the more I love it for so many reasons. I write on what I call a ‘tri-level’--depending upon where the reader’s expectations are at--my book can be read as pure fiction and entertainment. On another level, it can be instructive about human nature. On another, it has a spiritual component to it. I like books that are multilevel and of course, that’s the kind I write.

The hike tonight was delightful because Dave came along!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is Dave and Rocky on the hike with me....a man and his dog....

He doesn’t very often, but tonight was special and it was a lot of fun. The monsoon was pretty much gone, except for one giant Thunder Being in the northeast cropping up and over the canyon wall--otherwise, a calm, clear, quiet night.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is a thunder being lurking on the northeast wall of our canyon--the only one around. It wasn't a big day for monsoons as they had started to recede once again, like an invisible ocean tide across Arizona.


The sunset was beautiful but not chaotic as it can be. Every once in awhile, it’s nice to have quiet, calm and peace after a storm (or a monsoon...as the case may be....)

While I waited to see what the sunset would bring, Dave took Rocky on the leash and walked up and over the hill to look at our Century Plants.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2004
Here is a lovely photo of the huge, gigantic Century plant flowers

These are from the Agave Family and once they put out a spike with yellow flowers--the whole plant dies after that.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2004
Here are the dead Century Plants--after they bloom one time, the entire plant dies.

Talk about your one shot in life! Bam! That’s it! We collect the flowers off one of these plants--with their permission first, of course--and make our Century Plant flower essence which we call the ‘breakthrough’ essence.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2004
Here is our hill along our road where our beautiful Century Plants grow. We come here yearly, in August, and collect a new year's flower essence from the newly sprouted blossoms.
If a person is stuck--this is a great essence to take daily for a week or two because it definitely has the energy of a sledge hammer behind it.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2004
Here is a fairly close up photo of the marvelous candleabra-like blossoms that appear on that one spike that shoots out of the middle of the plant.

When you consider the spike, which can be as thick as a woman’s wrist at the base, shoots up in two days--and can be 10 to 14 feet tall--think about the power of that ascent. Think about the power and energy that plant has in order to send that huge spear hurtling skyward to bloom.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2004
Now you can see why we call Century Plant the "Breakthrough" flower essence....look at all these blossoms shooting outward! This is a flower that grabs life by the throat and goes for it!

It’s an awesome flower essence and we are delighted to hear stories back from people who have used it--and how it has helped them make a personal breakthrough on some level of themselves--be it on the physical plane, a mental attitude, an emotional wounding that needs tending, or to make an evolutionary change in one’s spiritual development.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2004
There is nothing more beautiful than these true sentinels of the desert at sunset...they are awe inspiring in the quiet as Mother Earth takes her last breath for the night time hours...



We had the big Thunder Being, on the way back down into the canyon, turn a beautiful cotton candy pink!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is our Thunder Being bathed in the sunset light of cotton candy pink I kept thinking that when my zoom lens, the 70 mm to 300 mm arrives late October that boy, oh boy (!) I can zoom in on that craggy, gorgeous cauliflower group of clouds and get a clear, clean, close up of it--wow!

And so we had 'drama' in the northeast tonight, but in the west, where the sun was setting, it was a lovely symbol for my day: peacefulness, calm and a sense of quiet joy.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is our sunset tonight...quiet and peaceful

In spirit....

Living in the Moment...

Hi Everyone!

Today was another day of moving and cleaning. Just like real life--we make a breakthrough and there’s lots of moving--usually of attitudes and emotions--with things being taken out, gotten rid of and replaced with something like more space. Nature abhors a vacuum, and so our new space, if we are conscious and smart, is being provided for something more healthy to come and nestle into us. In order for that to work, we have to stay on top of things; being focused, in our body, grounded and aware. Those are tough things to do in today’s world, isn’t it?


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is Mark on his ATV, Linda Metzler to the right and Rocky all having fun up on Sunset Point!


There is so much DISTRACTION on this plane of living, this third dimensional state of ours. And a key to helping ourselves is not getting distracted. And add to this unhealthy recipe, noise, pollution (air, water and ground), family demands, children demands, boss demands, traffic snarl ups, travel nightmares (literally nowadays), and you have a pretty ugly looking cake recipe to deal with.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's a watercolor sunset looking north toward Sedona. Notice the layering and different tones of color.


And through this all, we are being asked to stay focused. What does that mean? For one, it is about staying in your body. If you are a ‘space cadet’, spacy, disorganized, ungrounded, undisciplined, and torn ten different directions--that is being a ‘space cadet.’ When you are out of your body, you get spacy. I’m talking about your astral body, our emotional energy body that is a part and parcel of us. When things get too frantic, too overwhelming, our astral body, who is completely emotional and with no rationalization or logic, begins to slip out of its moorings and anchoring in our third dimensional feet, and drift up and out of the top of our heads--much like a helium balloon heads for the sky. The more we are ‘out of our body,’ the more spacy we are and the less aware and less conscious we are.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's Mark taking a photo of that gorgeous sunset tonight.

Of course, there’s some flawed logic in all of this: if we are out of body, emotionally speaking, we can’t feel all the pain and suffering, worry, agony or grief that we would if our astral body was solidly locked into our physical form from the feet up to our head. Being out of one’s body, however, is like an addiction--it only feels good for awhile, but eventually, you come back into your body and you feel all the bad feelings that you’ve tried to escape and evade by leaving home, i.e., your physical body.

And while we do this avoidance tactic, it only stalls and prolongs the real healing that needs to come--which means anchoring yourself into your physical body and staying put. It’s like gritting your teeth knowing you gotta go to the dentist even though you don’t want too--you now you have too--kind of thing...

If we space out, we are saying we don’t want to work on what we decided to be born into this incarnation to deal with. And sometimes, a soul bites off more than it can chew and comes up short because they took on too much to learn and couldn’t do it all in one lifetime.

Whatever the reason we spaced out or our astral body is hanging out of the top of our head like a balloon waving in the breeze, we can’t really get on with changes until we’re home to do the house cleaning, so to speak.

There’s a lot of ways to stay in your body. The Buddhists hit it right when they said: live only in the present. If you can live ‘in the moment’--and not be thinking about the past or the future--you are truly in your body, grounded and home. Try it. You’ll find it’s really tough to do because our mind has become our master and not the other way around.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Another beautiful watercolor sunset picture of northern area of Sedona/Red Rocks after the sun had set. Luscious.



If we could have an over view, we’d see that Time is an agreed-upon decision by all of us that it exists. Of course, it doesn’t. Not really. But here, in this world, we say that it does, so it does. Time says we have a past and a present and a future. Do we really? All we really have is RIGHT NOW. This moment. The past is gone. The future has yet to form. So the ability to live in the moment isn’t just some trite Buddhist philosophy--it is a way to live to remain FULLY present for the good, the bad, the ugly and the joyous. Why is that important? Because we came here to learn. And we learn faster, quicker, at optimum, when we focus on present only. If we are hung up on the past (an incident, an event, a bad childhood, a bad parent, a bad ex-spouse, a bad ex-boss.....you put yours here....they all fit), we are tying up a lot of our energy expenditure on something that has already happened and we can no longer change it.

Stop and think about this. It makes perfect sense. The past is GONE. The only thing you can change through your own free will choices is the PRESENT. Letting the past go is a really good thing.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Another shot of Linda Metzler to the right, Mark on his ATV and Rocky in the foreground. As you can see, Sunset Point is nothing but black lava rock, Juniper and Mormon Tree bushes, and plenty of Prickly Pear Cactus!


Let’s say you have ten dollars of energy money a day to spend on this lifetime. If you are stuck in the past, you might be spending five of your dollars energy on that thing that happened that you cannot change. That means you only have five dollars of energy for the present--half the amount you really need. When we cheat ourselves like this--and we all do this to a little or lot degree--we are robbing ourselves of the fully present PRESENT and all the joys and glories that it can mean.

And let’s look at those who are FUTURE oriented--they worry, have angst, obsess or plan for things that have yet to happen. Certainly, we can PLAN for the future...but to allow it to take over to the point where we worry about some thing about it....that’s going to the extreme and that is when we begin to spend our energy money there, instead of here, in the present where you really can AFFECT a change.

Further, if you could live only in the present--or most of the time in the present--you would get a lot more goodies that are coming to you--but because you are spending or focusing energy money on the past--it can’t possibly manifest because the energy isn’t there to help it become reality. If you were focused only on the present--then you could get a lot more gifts and help from the Universe than you are presently.

Plus....if you could focus only on the PRESENT, that means you are fully in your body. You are present in every way and on every level. That means that you are paying attention to where you are walking, the sounds, the odors, the people or animals or Nature that are around you. You are AWARE. That doesn’t mean you have to be 100% cognizant of everything thing....but there’s not only awareness you are “here” but an appreciation that you are living this one and only moment to it’s fullest and finest. In doing that, this cultivates such beautiful appreciation for all things, including yourself. It creates openings for Spirit to give you even more than you’ve ever had before. It allows you to fully breathe, fully feel and know that you are fully alive.



So many of us are only half alive because we’ve spent half our daily energy money on the past and/or future, and we’re hooked up and entrapped within it.

One of the things I do when my mind (who is not my master any longer--I’m the master--my brain works for me....) starts to get hung up on a specific event in the past, I see a black door come down and shut it off--completely. That allows me to refocus on the here and now.

From Dan Millman’s book, The Laws of Spirit, the Sage says, “Whenever you have a problem, it involves something past or future. You keep problems alive in your present mind by giving them your attention and ENERGY, letting them live rent free in your head. I, in contrast, don’t give them the time of day. Life’s too short,” she said with finality.

Think about this. Rent free in our head. What have we allowed to sit there that is costing us in terms of energy of a given day if we could only refocus it and put it where it can earn us dividends: the present!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's an incredible photo of Sedona/Red Rocks area as the sunset deepened and the veils of rain continued to fall North of us.



I can’t say this enough that if you can just TRY to live in the present, you are truly maximizing your energy and your plans for yourself--to the maximum. We shut doors on possibilities for ourselves because we’ve left other doors called the past and future, open, to bleed and drain of us of the necessary energy that is needed for the present. If your life isn’t going where you want, if you’re not happy with where you are, if things are not going right, if you are meeting so many obstacles and blockages--turn your head, your heart, yourself to the PRESENT and try living in it ONLY.


Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is Linda Metzler leaning down to pet Carly who is too short to see due to the tall grass--with Rocky next to her.



You may find some other trigger or catalyst or visualization that helps you stop your energy from meandering back to the past and haul 100% of your energy to the present.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is the first of two tarantulas we met on the way home. This male is very young and he toddled along and walked right between my feet. That's how much trust there was between him and me. Linda was glad it wasn't between her feet, hahahaha. She's still learning that tarantulas are very gentle, kind creatures. Some day, she'll let one walk between her feet too.


Give this a try. It isn’t easy. And you’ll stumble a lot. So do I. But every time I do, I get up and keep trying. And you know what? Every day I get a little better at this living in the present only kind of state. And it’s worth it. I take more joy in the moment than ever before. I feel more ALIVE in the moment than ever before. I feel the energy of Spirit coming through me in a stronger, more supportive way as a result. The benefits of this are simply immense. And life-changing. So, give it a try. And let me know what happens!

On our hike tonight, Linda Metzler, who has the Four Elements jewelry, joined me for our walk. Mark came up with his ATV with Prancer and Carly on board. Carly, by the way, is a Chijuajua not a Corgy. I think someone asked me about that. And she’s not Corgy. She’s just cute! We all got to see some spectacular shows tonight. To our North, toward the Red Rocks and Sedona, there was a big thunder being dropping a lot of rain. To our West, we had veils of rain across the landscape. As the sun set, it was a gold, brown color. And then as it got later, it started turning pink/lavender colors to the north. And in front of us, the veils of rain turned pink and then a red-orange color.

With Linda coming tonight, we’re celebrating my cleaned up hogan! After we get done walking, we are going to go to the hogan and drum.

Drumming is paralleling Mother Earth’s heart beat. If you could hear it and feel it (and anyone can with a little work--meditation is a great way to get there), her heart is LIKE A DRUM! It is a slow, deep, bass beat. And it mimics our heartbeat up to a point. When we can synchronize our heart with Her heart--wow--things happen. Usually, drumming can last up to 20 minutes but after that, arms and hands get tired. And after our drumming session, we’re going to meditate. Drumming is an incredible high and really puts your focus back into the PRESENT and NOW as few other things can do. That’s a good reason to drum. There are drumming circles where friends get together and drum...that’s a cosmic high, too.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is a final shot just before we left the top of Sunset Point. This is looking North to Sedona. Beautiful rain veil from a very active Thunder Being in their area.


I was lucky--Linda knows how to play the flute, and she did inside the hogan--the music really resonated beautifully inside the 8-sided structure. Wow.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is the second tarantula we ran into in the vineyard on the way back to the house. This is an old, grizzled male warrior. He's pretty old and you can see he's lost part of one of his long back legs on his right side.



And some other time, I’ll talk about meditation and share what I do with you--and you may or may not find it handy to try yourself. There’s 10,000 ways to meditate. If you find one that fits you, that’s all you need.



Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is the sunset forming and getting some good color along with veils of rain.


In Spirit....

A Box of Chocolates...

Hi Everyone!

Today was a synchronistic day. Remember our “Road Rager?” that I had talked about in an earlier blog.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
This is a great lesson about how important everyone is. See this morning glory stretching all across our picnic bench in the Gazebo/Greenhouse area? There is ONE pink blossom. Do you see it? Do you realize we're all like that flower? We are each individual, unique and wonderful--and we do stand out--just like this morning glory does!


The guy would stop and block us on our dirt road, get out and scream, yell and threaten us that we were going to fast (25 mph). And we called the sheriff on him time and again. Finally, the sheriff said carry a camera and get this guy on film. And of course, they were visiting him and telling him that no, you can’t block people in two lane traffic and do what you did to them....


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
We were in Cottonwood this morning, around 10:00 am and the monsoon thunder beings were really ramping up big and early! It guarantees a lot of storms in the afternoon, for sure--and that's exactly what happened!


So, this went on for a year. But my tool for this was my camera and video camera. That didn’t mean that every time I had to go out of our canyon and drive down that road that I might meet him. And I really don’t do well with that kind of confrontation--but then--no one does.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
As I was leaving Cottonwood this afternoon, this Thunder Being was sweeping down off Mingus Mountain and into the town--really good, thick veils of rain!

Eventually, the second year, he stopped doing it but we didn’t meet him that many times.

Well, today, we met him again. And synchronistically enough, I had just got done reading Dan Millman’s book, The Laws of Spirit. I read a chapter a day and really absorb it. This one was called The Law of Compassion: Awakening our Humanity. And one of several things caught my eye in this chapter (the book is full of glittering gemstones of relevance to all of us--Millman has just such a wonderful way, a simplicity, and examples, that really brings it home to us in a digestible and understandable way...) was a saying by Plato who said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” That really reached deep into me. And is that ever true. Everyone one of us is struggling. All the time.


This is the cover of Dan Millman's book. Everyone should order a copy and read a chapter a day--it can be a wonderful tool to improve the quality of your life down here.


Another powerful example from this chapter was when Millman asked the Sage, “Why not just hate what is hateful?” I think all of us can look back to see that we’ve all done this. The Sage’s words, however, really put it into perspective when she says, “Hate and compassion are different kinds of energy: which do you want to FILL your world with?”

WOW....now, that’s HEAVY DUTY TRUE. And I was feeling my way through these and several other examples of this chapter on compassion when we met--yep--Road Rager! Here was my cosmic test come to roost less than an hour after I read the book. Synchronicity is alive and well as usual! I saw that I had an opportunity to turn someone who hated us for driving fast, into a DIFFERENT energy. And I was going to TRY to do that. And that’s all the Cosmos asks of us--is to try. So, now that you know the ‘rest of the story,’ let me move forward with my test and what happened....

We had a flat tire on the van and so this morning, Dave wanted me to drive it with the spare and he would follow me in the pick up truck to Reese’s Tire in Cottonwood. I knew it would take several hours, but things like this don’t wait. I had just came out of the “Y” and onto Hidden Valley Road (the dirt road) when I saw Road Rager coming in with his big white Dodge Ram dual-axle truck hauling a flat bed with an end loader on it.

I immediately slowed and pulled as far to the right as I could because the guy had a very wide load and there isn’t that much room on the road--and I wanted to give him what I could--out of courtesy. And, I had my Nikon with me--as usual. I saw him roll down the window and wave his arm at me. I thought: uh oh, here we go again... and I took the cap off the Nikon lens, turned it on and let it sit on the passenger seat. For a moment, I thought maybe I should take a picture--but thought--no, he’s not doing anything threatening--yet. So, I listened to my gut and waited.

Again, Road Rager waved his arm out the window of his truck--gesturing for me to come on by him. By this time, he’d stopped. There wasn’t a whole lot of room to get by--but I could do it. I cautiously crept forward. Dave was right behind me. I was wondering if the guy was gonna climb out of his truck, scream, shake his fist at me--and if he did--I knew Dave would bail out of the truck in my defense.

As I pulled abreast of him he smiled! I rolled down my window. I said “Hi.”

“Hey, do you know who plows this road?” he asked me.

“Yes...the guy down in the quarry,” I said. I knew it was him, but I didn’t let on.

“That’s me,” he said, thumbing his thumb toward his chest.

“Oh, well, bless you!” I said, meaning it sincerely. “You have no idea how many times after we have monsoons wash out the road, and we come up and find it graded, that we have blessed and thanked you.”

Well, his face lit up like a candle, his brows moved up, surprise and he actually smiled. He clasped his hands in a prayer-like fashion and said, “Thank you!”

Wow. What a difference from our last confrontation, I thought. I decided to press the advantage. “Listen....what is your name?”

“Fred.”

“Well, Fred, any time you want help after it rains, we’d be more than happy to do that. We’ve often moved rocks and my husband has filled in some of the potholes up there at the road.”

“Yeah, well, that’s okay. Hey, listen, could you do me a favor?”

Stymied by him wanting any favor from me, I said, “What can I do for you?”

“You know that jeep that goes down to your canyon?”

“Yes,” i said, wondering where THIS was going. The jeep was owned by a resident in Echo Canyon.

“That jeep races through here at top speed.”

Here we go, I thought: this guy is obsessed with speed. First it was us. Now, he was fixed at this jeep.

“Okay,” I said.

“Could you tell the driver that driving fast just digs up the road?”

I was surprised he was coming across nice and mild. Even if his request was not mine to act upon. “If I see them, I’ll relay the message.”

“Great. Thanks very much.”

“Sure,” I said. He waved and I waved back.

Boy, what a difference in confrontations. This time, he seemed reasonable, nice and asking instead of being an intimidating bully threatening other people. I drove off thinking that he’d sure changed--but then, so had I. We had both changed. But it also served to show me that while this war was going on we held our strong, firm boundaries with this guy. That we were not going to take his threats lying down and getting run over by him (pardon the bad pun here...)



So, we went to the law and got help and guidance. Plus, the law, I know, visited him a couple of times with dire warnings that if he did it again--he was going to jail. The moral of this story is many. One is: you stand up for what is right, regardless. Two, you ask for help. Three, you always hold out for some kind of compassionate ending to the situation. For all we knew, the guy could have been going through an ugly divorce at that time and was taking out his road rage on us instead of his ex. Or some other awful thing had happened to him and he was projecting his anger and rage at us. I try to be compassionate. I try to understand that the other person may be battling their own demons and that since I don’t know what they are, not to take it personally.

But we do take it personally--we just have to detach ourselves from it and the best way to do that is by being compassionate--understanding there may be other pressures on this individual to cause them to go off half cocked like this.

And, the other moral is being compassionate with him--today--and not lifting my camera to take his photo which I’m sure, would have sent him into a rage--and leaving the camera where it was--a smart move t make. I had listened to my intuition that said: don’t take his photo. And looking back on it, it was the right decision to make.

Lastly, the moral is that things and dynamics can change. As I changed and dealt with my fear of confrontation with a raging stranger/male, and I was given tools to deal with it, i.e., a camera and video camera, that over time, I could deal with him and myself on a better, more peaceful, open level.

So, that was the lesson for today. Full circle after three years with Road Rager. I told Dave I was going to have to change his name to Road Grader and taking out the Rager since he was so pleasant and nice to me today! I hope it lasts!

Still, it serves to show that being kind to others, not getting defensive or posturing or angry, keeps things on a more even keel. It doesn’t always--but this time it worked. And I’d much rather talk with this guy than fight with him. All fighting serves to do is keep the parties in their camp with no chance of compromise or truly solving a problem that one of them sees occurring. In Road Grader’s case, he saw that 25 mph on a dirt road was speeding. It wasn’t--by Arizona law you’re allowed to go as fast as you want on a dirt road per the conditions at that time. So, his need for 25 mph was his need. And he was trying to control us and everyone else to his idea of what the right speed was.

After getting the tire fixed, we at in town at the Golden Dragon--our favorite Chinese Restaurant. Then, did the rest of the running around. I didn’t get any time with moving stuff out of the hogan to my new office today; but life has other demands that we have to flow with and this was one of them.

On the way home, almost at our road where I turned, was a Roadrunner! I shot this photo through the windshield and really didn’t think it would come out--but it did somewhat. Roadrunners are so cool--they’re a big bird and they hunt snakes--even rattlers--and they are ground runners. They fly--but rarely. They’re gawky looking--all long yellow legs and very long black and white striped tail. You look around wondering where Wiley Coyote is!!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's a poor picture, through the window of the van of the Road Runner. Wait until I get my zoom lens!


At our gate, on our wooden box where Fed-Ex, UPS and DHL leave packages for us, there were two packages in there! One was from my publisher, Harlequin--and my reprint of Hangar 13 was in there! Yippee! It is a paranormal book about a woman shaman. And it is available at bookstores September 2006.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is my reprint, Hangar 13! Available at bookstores everywhere come September 1,2 2006. I hope you enjoy it :-).


The other package was from Godiva Chocolates.

Ohhhhh......my favorite chocolates!

About a week ago, an email from Godiva came where they were having a 50% off sale--50%!!! Godiva never has that kind of sale!!! So, I ran over there and I ordered like mad for friends--and of course, for myself. I REALLY splurged. And I sure wouldn’t have done it if the price wasn’t half off. When I got into the house and opened up my box of Chocolates--it was a FOUR POUND Ballotine!! Four pounds!!! I’ve never SEEN four pounds of good chocolate before in my life...but here it was.

WOW!!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Feast your eyes on this, Choco-holics! This is a FOUR POUND BOX of Godiva chocolates!!! Print this one out and put it somewhere you can drool....wish I could give you some, but cyber chocolate just doesn't have the taste and feel of the real thing!

What a HUGE box!! I had to take a photo of it--I doubt many of you have ever seen a 4 pound box of Godiva chocolates, either!

And of course, my Mom came over and oohed and ahhhed over the box and I gave her a Zip Lock bag and told her to take as much as she wanted. Ruth was like a kid at Christmas!

And Dave came home and spied the big, gold box sitting on the kitchen counter and with his nose, he checked it out--and started to find all the caramels in the first layer of four layers.

I’m sure I’ll be handing out chocolate to my good neighbors, too--no one can eat FOUR POUNDS OF CHOCOLATE by themselves, hahahaha. But what a treat! And half off. That was a gift for myself! A BIG one!

The hike tonight was wonderful because it had been a light rain for almost an hour before I left. And the smells in the canyon were incredible from the mediciney Chaparral, to the sweetness of the Cliff Rose now blooming thanks to so much monsoon rain, to the stringent odor of the hundreds of Junipers that abounded around the area, the clean odor of damp soil and the humidity in the air. The clouds were thick and dark. I wasn’t sure if I was going to get poured on or not, but I didn’t care.

I never know what kind of sunset is coming. I have an opportunity to get a clue as I climb above the vineyard on Cardiac Hill. I saw the clouds were like gray veils on the western horizon and figured that if all things went right, I’d have veils of rain to photograph on the sunset tonight.

I managed to get photos of Desert Marigold from our roadway earlier.



Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
A Desert Marigold brightens every one's day. This one is was found on our road. What a happy face this one has!


And at Sunset Point, some dainty, tiny Goldfingers had bloomed.



Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Tiny, fragile little Goldfingers up at Sunset Point.

I gave my ants their nuts and while waiting for the sky to start its show, I walked across the road. I found an ant pile there and gave them some nuts. On the way back across the road, I spotted a third ant hill and gave them some, too. Rocky got his pint of water and the world was happy. And then, the show began. About this time, Mark came up in his ATV with Prancer, his little black and white dog.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
I call this a hole in a sky sunset.


And what a show it was!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
This sunset continued to deepen until it was a magenta-red/orange color. Very dramatic!

To the south was Cottonwood and veils of rain were pink and soft. The sky turned from a pink to a very dramatic red-orange at the end. And the clouds even got pink lining right at the last moment. I walked home in the dark tonight because I’d waited for the finale.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is a beautiful sunset over Cottonwood with Mingus Mountain in the background; very pink and breathtaking

And then the sky got very dramatic....

Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's the drama of the sunset with the veils of rain. You have seen plenty of photos of veils of rain--but you know--each one is as different as a fingerprint....that is what is so magical about the unfolding mystery of spirit in our lives...never the same two times in a row....always a surprise and a reward for its uniqueness






In Spirit....

A Day of Gifts

Hi Everyone!

House cleaning, as we all know, is an ongoing, perpetual motion machine of its own. And today, I continued to do that stuff by moving the four stereo speakers out of the hogan to my new office--thanks to Dave. And I retrieved my drum and brought her back to the hogan, which is her real home.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Progress on the hogan today! Dave got all four speakers up to the new office. Ibrought along the electronic equipment. You can see that the corner is cleaned up. And, best of all, I hung my drum up on the west wall of the hogan. She's a 'traveling' drum. When this drum is played, she sends people on journeys--sometimes a past life, or to some place in this life, that they need to be. She's a very powerful drum and was made by a woman. The hide is elk. She has a deep, throaty resonance that I just love.

And I trundled along with the amplifier, CD player, tape player and all the cords dragging behind me.

And I washed all the windows, inside, the new office. I also washed them on the door as well--inside and out. I happen to have a big bug smear across one window and it made a really good streak. As I was looking out the smear, everything was distorted outside of the window. I began to think of how I distorted things -- how we all do -- and that I wished we had a big can of window cleaner to get us out of our skewed, distorted position. But no such luck! The way we get out of a distortion is by drawing people or events into our lives that mirror our distortion to us--and sooner or later, by Grace or good luck, we will finally get it.


After I put more books away (Dave found a whole bunch in another room of the house and I really want all my wonderful identification books on botany away from flood potential, so he brought a box or two more to be shelved in the new office), I decided it was time to get busy on our house and do some serious cleaning. After all, we were cleaning the hogan and the new office--why not the house we live in? There’s a clue!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is on view of my 8-sided hogan. It sits in the green house area. Note that there are nine mesquite trees,in a circle, around it. Those trees were here when we came and were indicative of a vortex being in the center of this circle of trees. We literally built the hogan respectively to the circle of trees and even the small porch, Dave made holes around each tree trunk so that they could continue to be there and be a part of this wonderful feminine energy.

Between runs, I'd go back to the kitchen to get a huge drink of water--it was really hot and muggy today. And....as I passed the bathroom, I saw this:


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's a funny: Jawee (Navajo for: "He hears but he doesn't listen....") is a bathroom sink kitty. He's twelve years old and weighs 20 pounds and he's known as King Kat around here. I picked him up on the Navajo Reservation back in 1992 and he's been with us every since--doing his funny things--like sleeping all day in the bathroom sink!


While I was busy making us lunch, Dave brought my canary yellow Dyson out of the hogan to the house. He vacuumed for awhile,and then I took over. I noticed there was a whistling sound and that meant the Hepa filter wasn’t locked into place correctly. As I pushed down on it, I heard a THUMP-GLUG-GLUG!!! I looked into the clear plastic canister and what do I see but a huge wad of dog and cat hair along with a cup of dirt flying out of the Hepa filter and into the canister. It had been STUCK in there--effectively blocking a good fifty percent of the possible dirt that could have gotten sucked up--and it got stuck there. No wonder the poor machine was huffing and puffing!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is another view of the hogan that Dave built for me in 1991. Ed "Eagle Man" McGaa came in for a visit in March, 1991 and helped build our first sweatlodge on the property. The hogan was almost completed by the time Ed came for a visit.

And of course, I was looking at the vacuum and myself. So, I had a big hair ball in me just like the machine did. And mine sure came rumbling and blowing out like a cannon ball just as the Dyson’s did! We all have blocks. That’s something we can count on. None of us are perfect. We’re all down here learning and this is a pretty brutal place to learn because spiritually speaking, the pedal is to the metal, to borrow an eighteen-wheeler term.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is a very moody looking western sky.


And when we have a ‘blowup’ literally or figuratively speaking, it can be like feeling cosmically constipated and then the BIG FLUSH arrives and THUMP-GLUG-GLUG--there it goes, blasting loose and hurtling into the vacuum cleaner (or toilet bowl) of Life! And we all know the relief we get when we pass a big one--on or off the toilet....


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is another thunder being on the western horizon--just like last night--but what a difference, eh?



And once the BLOCK is REMOVED, there is certainly a period of relief with a lot of quiet so that you can begin to assimilate it all, integrate and apply your new awareness(es). Sort of like riding a tricycle before you graduate to a two-wheel bike with training wheels....and then the real thing, a two-wheel bike with no training wheels.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is Rocky doing his 'Rin Tin Tin' pose on a rock at Sunset Point. What a ham!


We go through process over and over again. Ad nauseum. But we all do it. And we’re past masters of it at this point. And it doesn’t matter what age we are. The good thing about this is usually, as we get older, we understand the process, the laws of the cosmos that apply, and get on with ‘the work’ so that we can get through it in better shape than we did when we were younger. There’s something to say about age after all....


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
On some nights, when the light is just right...everything is "just right" you get what I call a 'watercolor' sunset....this reminds me very much of Japanese paintings and there is such a sense of wonderment, calm and quiet beauty--as if someone had used her watercolors and this was the result....

And it was lovely to go meditate in my hogan this afternoon. I listened to Devi Prem--a gift CD from my Swiss friend, Michele Burdet, many years ago--and it was lovely to just drift into myself.

It has been a day of gifts! I love gift days, don’t you? We all get them. And I savor them when they occur. For starters, I had just gotten done with my meditation when Dave came back and guess what he had as a thoughtful gift for me? A Starbucks “Strawberries and Cream” Frappaccino--a big one! It has been so hot and muggy here, nonstop and we’ve been working so hard, that this was indeed, an unexpected treat! Whatta guy! Wish I could clone him and give copies of him to every woman--we wouldn’t have the grief we have between men and women if that could happen.

And then, I had ordered a Coldwater Creek vest--called the Peacock Vest (this has more story to it so look below....). It arrived along with a mandarin color white cotton long-sleeved blouse. I put them on and they fit. I loved the colors of the Peacock vest--purples, golds, blues and greens.

Lastly--you know things always come in 3’s....I was working on my book DARK TRUTH, and decided to take a break and look at my email. And there was my 3rd surprise! My wonderful lightning photo that I’d taken in late July had been chosen by Channel 15 (ABC/Phoenix, AZ) TV station to showcase the ‘lightning/monsoon’ photos sent in by viewers--and mine is on the front! WOW! That was terrific and unexpected. And if that wasn’t enough, he’s putting on the FRONT PAGE of the Channel 15 website--DOUBLE WOW! Here’s Dan’s two emails:

hi Eileen,

Thank you for your recent weather photo submission. As always you have some breathtaking photos! :)

We've created an online gallery featuring your photo (and other viewers' photos) on ABC15.com. You can view this special lightning gallery here:

http://www.abc15.com/gallery/slideshow/index.asp?doc=lightning/main.html

Thank you again for your photo, and thanks for visiting ABC15.com!

And Dan’s second email:

And fyi -- in case you haven't seen the front page of ABC15.com, I just posted a cropped version of your photo as a "tease" on our homepage, to entice viewers to click into the slideshow. It shows up under the top 3 news stories (you may have to click your web browser's "refresh/reload" button to see the photo tease, as I just added it about 5 minutes ago).

http://www.abc15.com



.:[Dan Sobczak, New Media Content Mgr
.:[ABC15 Phoenix
.:[www.abc15.com

So much for my '15 minutes of fame'. Let’s talk about peacocks now. My mom and I feed the birds around here. I happen to have 2 bird feeders by our north fence. I feed the birds morning and late afternoon. Well, this idiot male peacock likes to wake us at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m.! He thinks he’s a rooster and supposed to honk up the sun! One good thing, all the tail feather’s he’s gifting us with we are collecting and giving to Linda Metzler, who wants them. Right now, I could wring his scrawny blue neck....



Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's "Bird Brain", the male peacock who is moulting and dropping all his beautiful tail feathers. However, this idiot bird, who has no mate, and is lonely, loves to come over to the bird seed feeders just to be around the 50 or so birds that eat there. And he sits there and preens and pulls out his feathers which are scattered all over the place. Worse, he hops up on top of our roof at 5 a.m. in the morning and honks away--waking us up. So, we have a love-hate relationship with our bird brain intruder.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's my two bird feeders. We feet Mourning Doves, red finches, cardinals, mexican cardinals, sparrows and other friendly birds.



On my walk tonight, I had, one, two, three buzzards fly over me at very low altitude. All three were heading for the cut of the road. Sometimes, they will roost in that area. As I drew near, I really began looking for them. The light wasn’t good because of the thunder being spread across the sky. I couldn’t find them. On the last hill going up to Sunset Point, I suddenly spied one of the buzzards--right on top of a telephone pole fifty feet away! Wow, was he close! I stopped and sent him a mental telepathy ‘hello’ and asked if she had a message for me. Of course, she did. I shot a lot of photos of her but without a zoom close up lens (coming in late october....it can’t be too soon!) all I get are blurry silhouettes. But at least you can see her perched up there. Amazing, because buzzards just do not come this close to human beings--ever. And I’ve been having my fair share of interactions with them at very close footage the last month. Buzzards are about transformation...do I have a clue?


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's my friend the buzzard waiting fifty feet away from me, perched up on a telephone pole. They don't stick around humans,so this is indeed, a rare gift to see this magnificent bird so close.

And then, we climbed up to Sunset Point. I fed my harvester ants and tonight, wore my screen netting over my head because the no-seeums were awful. But, the wait was worth it.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
On the way home,just before we started down to Jon's vineyard I turned around and looked to see some fiery red-orange ribbon on the horizon. Very intense. Beautiful!


And the sunset was interesting, changeable and I actually had several to choose from. Which is your favorite? The first was a lovely water color scene to the North, near Sedona.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is a second 'water color' sunset--the colors changed a bit from the first one--still, just as movingly beautiful.

This was a changeable sunset tonight. Many different colors, layers and variations and intensities going on all at the same time.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
This is pink clouds to the North, over Sedona after sunset.


And then, we had drama on the western horizon.



Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Now, here's a dramatic sunset! And hard to believe, but to the north, we had that lovely 'water color' sunset.

Even coming back on the road, the colors were still changing remarkably.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
And this was the last photo I took before we went back down into the canyon for the night....

In Spirit....

Spiritual Housekeeping....

Hi Everyone!

I always find it interesting to watch people--but that includes myself, too. Maybe, because I’m a writer, I pay attention to a lot of nuances other people don’t have to check out or watch. In building a character for a book, it’s all about nuances....shades...hues...tones....that make a hero or heroine real to the reader or not. But all of that ability, at least for me, comes from paying attention. To myself. To others. We are all, ultimately, fascinating to watch. Or so I think.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
While cleaning out the hogan and moving books to my new office, this thunder being rolled overhead. It was spectacular in that you could see the cumulonimbus mammatus and the 'fingers' of energy and the winds pushing this big boy. Awesome! Powerful! Aho!

Which leads me to today’s focus: spiritual housekeeping. Remember I told you that the flood of December 30, 2004 sent a 1000 books, and all our ‘good stuff’ out to my hogan? It was the only dry, safe place to put things since we had no idea of how high Oak Creek was going to rise that time. And since that awful day, my hogan, which was my spiritual connection where I meditated daily and did my yoga, was no longer available to me--so I quit do these things that fed and kept my spirit in balance. It was as if my spiritual abode had suddenly been taken from me. I didn’t like it, of course and at first, it was awful. But after awhile, I let it go. Wrong thing to do.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is part of my hogan. A hogan is a Navajo term for an 8-sided structure. Each side represents a major or minor direction (4 major directions, 4 minor ones). And the door always faces East to the rising sun. When I was twelve years old we lived at Ft. Wingate, New Mexico, on the Navajo Reservation. Coffee-Chili, a very old Navajo man, adopted us. He lived with us. My father and he communicated in sign language. Coffee-Chili didn't know English and my father didn't know Navajo. It was on of the best years of my life. I loved Coffee-Chili as if he were my grandfather and having a hogan always reminds me of him, my love for him, and my love and respect for the Navajo people.


But I had a lot of other things going on that were life shattering in December of 2004 onward to this day, so I released something that I shouldn’t have. Choices...we all make them. And this choice has taken me until now....to roll up my shirt sleeves and start moving the books and other furniture, the CD’s, the stereo speakers, the paintings, my beloved art glass--all up to my new office that Dave and Michael Foltz built a year ago.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is another angle of my hogan. You can see my trust canary yellow Dyson vacuum which is worth its weight in gold. You can also imagine that there was nothing in this hogan, other than my altar--and now as you look around, there's lots of stuff in here! And much of it will stay. For example, all my homeopathy (white bookshelves) must stay here because if we get flooded out again, I don't want to have to try and save and run all this stuff out of the house one more time. So, all the remedies will stay in the hogan where they'll get all that great vortex energy!

It had been standing empty. But my focus was elsewhere--out of balance--and I could have started traipsing up and down the steps from my hogan to my new office a long time before this. But I just didn’t have the heart, the passion or desire to do it. And yet, my spiritual house was crapped up and ladened with ’stuff’. And so was my internal spirit in just as dire a straits.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is an unknown flower that just popped up and bloomed today--thanks to our weekly monsoons in the canyon. Now that I have all my arizona flower identification books in my new office--all in one place--I can run up there tomorrow and hopefully find its name! That's refreshing just to do that much!


There’s always a breakdown for a breakthrough. I just had my breakdown and saw the light through the window (a very dirty window) of my spiritual eyes into getting a true reality check. And that is when I decided to clean my hogan because in cleaning it up, I was symbolically cleaning myself up--from the inside out--on a spiritual basis. For too long, I had been away from my meditation and my yoga. It was now time to get back to it. To recommit to my spirit’s well being.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is some Globemallow (orange) that has sprung to life due to the monsoon rains and in the background, a magenta colored Desert Four o Clock. The desert has intense colors that are beautiful and breath taking. No desert is 'dead.' It just has a miraculous ability to bloom over night. And if you aren't paying attention, you will miss all this incredible beauty....



Today, Dave and I moved box after box of books from the hogan to the new office. Dave set up the shelves and anchored the book cases to the walls. You ever look at a thousand books and they need to be put in a specific order? Order out of chaos. Yep, that’s my life. That is everyone’s life! That’s how I felt inside, too.....I was in chaos and trying to make order of my breakdown/breakthrough. But, I just bent to the task of sorting, going step-by-step, those baby steps, and I began to put certain books on certain shelves. Within a couple of hours, there was more order and far less chaos! The rule here though, is you have to work at it--stay focused--and do it.

Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is our beloved prickly pear cactus--we got tons of them in the canyon! Native Americans gather them when they are ripe like this, skin and peel them, and remove the spines, and make a wonderful jelly with them. Our wild pigs/javalina/peccary, this is a very necessary food for their survival. This has been a very lean year and very few have these bright maroon colored fruit on them--so the pigs are going to be hungry.



Toward afternoon, I turned my attention to my beloved hogan. The floor was in need (dire need) of a vacuuming. Dave brought out my trusty canary yellow Dyson (love that machine) and I began to have it suck up all the leaves, the dirt and anything else -- a dead scorpion -- that was around. Little by little, I could see the beautiful nubby, dark blue carpet that symbolized Father Sky, becoming clear to me . It’s such a beautiful color. And I looked at myself how I was vacuuming up my own dirt, litter and debris inside myself and jettisoning it just like my vacuum cleaner was sucking it up and containing it so that the rug could be clean once more. At that point, I could see how I had held all this dirt and debris inside me and dimmed my spirit and threw me out of harmony or balance. It wasn’t going to be as easy as carrying out the dirt from the Dyson and emptying outside, but I knew I was discharging and that was as good as it gets. Rome isn’t rebuilt in a day!


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Of all things, here is a Blackfood Daisy!! You sometimes see them in very early spring after winter rains. But never in summer. For them to have bloomed like this--and trust me--yesterday, they had not or I'd have seen them for sure--like this is just astounding and magical! The whole plant just opened up and bloomed. Wow.


The more I worked through the afternoon (and it was hot and muggy and I was sweating like a racehorse), I kept thinking “this was me....” And then I thought: “How could I let my hogan, my spiritual place I love so much, derived so much from, go and sink into such an awful state?” I could see that my shattering event in mid-December/2004, had really taken me around a turn in my road and I took a fork that looking back on it, I shouldn’t have--but we all take these detours to learn from--and sooner or later, we find the road we were on again and hop back on it. We all get hit by a freight train in life--be it a person, place, thing or event. And we all get derailed by it. That’s a fact of life. How we struggle to get back to our feet, recouperate and heal ourselves from it, is what counts. And that was what I was doing right now!



Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here are Blazing Stars. These are smart flowers. They bloom only when there's a lot of rain--which we've had recently. And then, the open up at dusk, remain open all night and close at dawn. It takes a lot of water which is energy, for a flower to remain open all day under this brutal heat and sunlight.



The more I cleaned (I washed windows, inside and out, dusted, sucked up spider webs, washed every crystal and fetish, removed every picture and cleaned it up), the cleaner I felt inside. I felt almost euphoric with the whole process. The old adage, “As above, so below” applies here, but in an obverse kind of way, “As we are on the inside, we are reflected on the outside.” So, my hogan, my spiritual home, was a disaster area of untold proportion that I had let sink into a state of disrepair for so long, and clearly, it was an inner reflection of my own spirit being dusty, cobwebby, dirty and filled with junk, too.

With every window I washed, I thought: “I’ll be able to see myself better now.” Clean windows meand better inner vision and connection with one’s self in my little book of life. And pretty soon, after four hours of nonstop work, the hogan looked pretty good. Not that it’s back to ‘normal’--it isn’t. Still stuff to do -- but at least it’s CLEAN and it’s got order instead of chaos, and I can once more, feel the vortex energy that is there, circulating again. And I can also feel my spirit beginning to stir and move within me, as well.

Best of all, I toted my boom box out to the hogan, got a Wayra CD (beautiful flute music--this guy is part Incan and part Native American and I met him in person in Prescott on a jaunt over there with Linda M. to an arts and crafts show). And I bought two of his CD’s. I played one of them this afternoon, laid down on my pillows (one under my head and one under my knees) and I meditated in my hogan. Boy,did it feel good! As I lay there just feeling my body, my aura and the energy of the vortex in the hogan moving I thought: “How could I have EVER have stopped doing this? It’s so prime to my balance, to my survival, to being in a good space with myself and all my relations...”

And as I lay there, I understood that I had drawn a horrific, smashing, shattering event that caught me coming and going, that had thrown me into this tailspin from which I’m only now, just beginning to emerge from. And as I allowed the flute music to take me to Peru, to Lord Salcantay, the great Apu, or mountain spirit, of that country, I felt light and free and joyous in a way I have never felt before. I knew that by going through this Dark Night of the Soul test where I had denied myself the vital use of my spiritual tenets to help me through it, had been a real mistake. But, I learned from it. I had never walked away from my spiritual life--ever--before this shattering life event. But I had with it.

And now, I was coming home...home to my hogan, home to my spiritual symbol. The healing I receive in my hogan, due to the vortex and so many other things, such as the spirit guardians who live around us, all have supported me through this arduous, nonstop event. Without them, I couldn’t have made it. And without my husband and m friends in my outside/external world, there as equal support, had gotten me through this, too. We never go through hell alone. We are always given support whether we realize it at the time or not.....


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is an intense look at the Thunder Being as she moved in a northwest direction.


Meditation is such a healing tool. I can’t recommend it enough, to everyone. It brings you back into harmony not only with all yourself, your auric field, but also it realigns your chakra system and renews the connection with ‘all our relations’ that are around us, whether we see them or are aware of them or not. In other words: it helps us destress, detox, relax and let down to a level where we can reach our own, inner sense of peace.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
This is long after the sunset and before Rocky and I were heading down the hill toward Jon's vineyard--orange colors in the northwest with Mormon Tea trees as a dark frame for the wonderful colors.

I was glad I cleaned out my spiritual home. In doing that today, I was making a commitment to my spirit, to clean me up from the inside out. Aho.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
It is always a magical surprise to crest Sunset Point. This is what I saw tonight--a huge Thunder Being dumping her veil of dark rain in the distance. Awesome power, incredible panorama and a sense of timelessness and yet, connected with nature in a very raw, real way.



In Spirit....

A Day of Restructuring...

Hi Everyone

Well, today was one of restructions things outside and inside me. I had been working with my own concept of internal balance, which Dan Millman talked about in his book, The Laws of Spirit. Today was the next baby step in making it so. Changes are never easy nor are they usually fast. They happen in increments.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
This morning, going out to the green house, here were some beautiful purple morning glories right next to a caladium; I just loved the arty situation of flowers with leaves.


Yesterday I realized I had to get all out ‘flood’ stuff out of my hogan which is where I used to meditate, do my daily yoga and do drumming. It has been stacked up to the gumstumps with nearly 1,000 books.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
As I started my walk tonight, I saw this 'big bird' in the sky above me.


Getting up this morning, I got my coffee and went to pull weeds in my ‘flood’ garden which I’d let go too long. Being on your hands and knees with Mother Earth is always productive, calming and meditative to me.

I had just got my gardens and greenhouse plants watered and set for the day when at 9:20 a.m., the electricity suddenly shut off. I called APS immediately. And they said they didn’t know what had caused it.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here is our hero--the APS guy--climbing our light pole to check out the transformer that blew.


I detoured to weed my garden because there was no electricity to do anything else with. It was time well spent. I went back at 10:20 a.m. and called APS again--and they were nonplussed. I got a lot more firm with them and demanded to know where the outage was and when could I get service back once more. It is hot and high humidity here--and we’re sweating bullets.


Copyright EIleen Nauman
As I rounded the turn at Maryann's place to start up Cardiac Hill, here is what met my gaze....

I called our neighbor who said he had electricity. At this point, I figured out transformer blew. He came up and was kind enough to locate the outside switches and threw them to see if the breakers had just flipped--they had not. About that time, APS showed up. Our neighbor, who is the soul of goodness and helpfulness (he had helped us move out all our valuables from the house during the Dec/2004 flood), went up to talk with the APS. This was all going on while Dave was gone, and my neighbor knew a lot more about electricity than I did--and I was grateful for his offer of help. It just goes to show that having good neighbors is a blessing in itself. And we have some wonderful ones like him and Mark/Sue.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Half way up Cardiac Hill, on the left, was this beautiful golden carpet that had sprung up over night! We've had weekly monsoons and they have acted like our normal winter rains for the Spring wildflowers. And here they were! Just showing once again how alive and how responsive our desert is to rain. Amazing!



Dave got home about 10:45 a.m. and I had already shot Linda’s jewelry with my Nikon D-70 SLR digital camera. I had them on a one gig card but with the electricity out, I couldn’t do much but wait.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
Here's the carpet of golden flower extending from the bank on up into the slope of Deer Mountain. Dramatic color and life in less than 24 hours! Who sez deserts aren't alive??!!!


The electricity finally came on at 11:30 a.m. and it was a blown transformer that had to be replaced. I made the most of this intrusion by just moving with my own, internal flow even though outwardly, it looked blocked. I still got things done. I even trimmed our star jasmine vines back along one of our walkways by the greenhouse, cleaned up a lot of old, dead leaves and swept the tiles clean. A lot got done even with such a shift/change in plans. I’ve always been one to go with the flow--and if one door shuts, another will open--guaranteed. And I got a lot done as a result without losing time or gnashing about the loss of electricity.


Copyright Eileen Nauman 2006
I have been walking by this Juniper that has always been growing this way since we came here in 1989. And today, for the FIRST time, I see a huge bunch of Desert Four O Clocks blooming beneath its branches in the side of the clay bank! Isn't that something? Really beautiful. And, the tree reminds me of people--we may be out of balance, but we keep on growing anyway.



After lunch, I opened up the hogan, enlisted Dave’s help, and we started trundling box after box of books up to my new office. We had to put the painted shelves into the bookstands and this took nearly all afternoon. My books were in disorder and I needed to alphabetize them by topics. We didn’t get it all done--but it’s a start and that helped me a lot. Sometimes, change is good, feels good and helps us to clear our own path before us.

Another thing I wanted to accomplish today was photographing Linda Metzle